Saturday, December 21, 2013

Dear Santa..

I am writing this post, not to ask for sympathy, but because I know there are mothers out there in my situation that want to hear they are not alone. As you all know, we lost our daughter Aubrey April 10, 2013 to a condition known as Anencephaly. If you are new here and do not know our story, you can view it HERE. I was 20 weeks pregnant and went into preterm labor due to her condition. She was stillborn. The months passed and then October came.I felt things getting harder and harder. We would have been celebrating her first Halloween. Buying that adorable costume. Thanksgiving passed and that is where I have lost it. It feels that way anyways. She would have been getting tastes of gravy from mommy and daddys fingers. Well, Christmas is almost here and as I see our friends online that are celebrating "Baby's First Christmas", my husband are sitting here with empty arms. I am completely thankful for the children that I do have. Not having Aubrey here to complete our family is so hard. We should be getting those first Christmas pictures done and taking baby's first picture with Santa.
 I do still wear some of Aubrey's ashes around my neck in a urn necklace. To help cope with things, we bought a pink tree and hung ornaments on it in her memory. I was babysitting a baby that was due a week before Aubrey was and that fell through after she wanted to make changes in paying me that were not worth my time. Blogging helps take my mind off of things some, not completely though. I just wanted to let any of you that are suffering like I am with our loss, you are not alone. All I want for Christmas is our daughter back. Realistically, I know that is not going to happen. Until then, I will close my eyes and dream about her. If you want to reach out to me personally you can email me or contact me via the contact tab above. Thank you for reading. XOXO
 My Forever Child
You are a Precious Child
Created out of love,
a blessing from above.
I've adored you from the start,
and your little footprints touched my heart.
A single teardrop represents the millions I have cried.
My life never the same since you died.
I wish you could have stayed longer with me,
I'd watch you grow into all you could be.
Although we are apart,
You are always in my heart.
I dream of a joyful time when
we will be reunited once again.
Thoughts of you make me smile.
You will always be My Forever Child
~Susan Mosquera, all rights reserved 


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