Sunday, February 2, 2014

A Year Already?

A year ago this week, I was excited to go to my prenatal appointment. I sat on the table, went over basic pregnancy things and I was asked if we wanted to see our baby today! She wanted to do the ultrasound to see if Aubrey had downs...thinking oh that won't happen to us- we said yes..because we wanted to see our baby! Little did we know we found out news that changed our lives forever. Our daughter was going to die. She had a fatal birth defect known as Anencephaly. You can read more about it here.
We were lucky enough to carry her until April 10, 2013, when she was born still. I will always remember the smell of the room, what we were wearing, the look on my doctors face as she was fighting tears telling me. Most of all, I will forever cherish every single moment I carried her in my womb. If you haven't had this happen to you it is hard to know how you will feel. I often have dreams that I am back in that room again and it is happening all over again. Or that I wake up and I have a big pregnant belly, only to realize it is a dream. I can't believe that her birthday will be here soon, I am not ready. Not ready at all. =/

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