Thursday, April 10, 2014

It has been a year since we lost you.

One year ago, I lost a piece of me that I will never get back. Our daughter was born still at 20 weeks. So perfect. So tiny. She had Anencephaly. You can read our story here. I can't believe that it has been a year. Her birthday is the day of her death. I miss her so much. I wish she was safe in my womb all over again. Why do good people have bad things happen to them? Why are we having trouble conceiving again? Don't tell me it is "Gods plan" or "It will happen when it happens". My daughter is dead. My daughter was ripped away from this world and didn't even have a fighting chance. I hope one day there can be a miracle cure. I hope one day, a mother shouldn't have to visit her baby in a cemetery or see their urn in their living room. I hate the world right now. I hate it all. 
I survived the first year of grief. I am still here and my husband- my supporter, my best friend has been with me every step of the way. Happy First Birthday/Angelversary in Heaven our sweet sweet baby girl. Mommy and Daddy Love you. 




 
Am I okay? No. I cry often. I let myself go and I can't stand to see a pregnant person that complains about their HEALTHY pregnancy. People that want to complain about their kids make me sick. I wish I could go back in time to the day I met our daughter. She was perfect. I need that day back. 

4 comments:

  1. My heart breaks for you and Jon. Love you both. <3.

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  2. You are ... forever and ever ...mama.

    May God bless you and your husband, and your precious Aubrey Elizabeth.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss! May God Bless you and keep you safe! I know the grief is so hard. Grief just overcomes us when we have such a sad loss! Your beautiful baby is in Heaven. She is a precious angel. I am praying for you always. I am so glad that you have a wonderful husband to help your through this.

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  4. I feel your pain and cried when I read this. The loss of a child is the hardest thing a parent will every have to endure in their lifetime and the grieving comes and goes. I lost a child eight years ago as of April 1st and still have my days. I will never get over it and just try to find ways to get through it some of those days. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that God will bring a child your way real soon.

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